…I was the new guy in class. Making a jump from public school to private school was difficult. But as a sixth grader, I already felt like I needed to be a part of something. I felt disadvantaged because every student in this class had known each other for years..and I had a lot of catching up to do. So I laced up my velcro Michael Jackson L.A. Gears and walked into class. I could see classmates talking about vacations and fun stuff they did. And once in a while I could see a pair of eyes glance in my direction…new guy. Little did I know, but that year would be filled with mistakes. The same aloneness I felt at that moment would be given to other classmates because of my insecurity…sometimes we don’t realize how hurtful we are.
Private school was a whole new world to me. My jeans were traded in for brown corduroy pants and my 49ers starter jacket was scrapped for a forest green Mr. Rogers sweater. But the makeover wasn’t over…i needed a haircut. I sported a tail(family claims it was a mullet) during that time and that was chopped off. The first few weeks were rough. I made friends easily but still felt like I wasn’t a part of the class. Until one day, a classmate asked me if I wanted to write in a slambook. I had no clue what that was…but I grabbed the spiral notebook from her and took it home. I got home, grabbed a snack, and a glass of orange tang…and started my homework. I unzipped my Jansport and opened up my Trapper Keeper and out popped the slambook. I started to read through it…and was shocked. There were comments classmates made about other classmates…some of them nice…some really mean. I was supposed to write in this thing? I learned about who had a crush on who and other confidential stuff. I grabbed a pen
thought about how I should answer the questions that the slambook asked, “do I think Steve is cute?”….I can’t answer that. I couldn’t do it, so I didn’t answer any questions.
The next day I sat on a bench and waited for class to start. I saw a bunch of my classmates talking in a circle. And then I did the dumbest thing ever. “Hey, you guys should see what so and so said about you in this book..”…and I handed the book to them. I wasn’t thinking…not sure why I did it. But giving up that slambook caused so much trouble. Feelings were hurt when certain people read what was written about them…sixth grade hearts were broken when classmates found out that their crushes had feelings for someone else. Everybody was mad at somebody…but most of the hate came towards me. For some reason, I thought doing this would make people like me or maybe they would include me in their “group”. I never realized what I did until it was too late….I was sixth grade stupid.