“Mom I am out of hair spray…can you take me to the store?”
“Anak…I can’t, I have so much to do today.”
“But, homecoming is tomorrow night…How am I going to fix my hair?”
“Anak…you still have gel..that pink stuff. Use that.”
“I can’t, when it dries up it leaves all these like pink flakes in my hair…it looks weird and gross. Everyone is going to homecoming…and my hair will look ugly. This is the worst day ever!”
I stormed out of the room and heard my mom yell out.
“You need to stop worrying anak. You worry like an old man.”
“Well, if I was an old man..and someone needed to the store and get hair spray I would take them.”
I have always been paranoid. I have always worried too much. I worry about what people think of me and the image I set out to others. I calculated every move as a teenager. I would stare into my closet and each outfit meant something. They were statements of the insecurity I had as a high schooler. I needed constant affirmation that I fit in…that I belonged somewhere. And in reality, we all still need that but on different levels. We need to be a part of something. When you look in the mirror what do you see?
I look in the mirror and see a man who is a lot younger than his age is. A man who cannot and will never give up his love for video games. A man still striving to fulfill his dreams. A man whose favorite sound is the crack of a bat and the roar of the crowd. A man who needs to lose a little more weight. A man who would look weird if he grew his hair out. A man who loves being a family man. A man who gets excited about garage sales. A man who loves singing reality tv shows a little too much. A man who cannot say no to food. A man trying hard to become a better man for his better half.
Imagine if we could see what other people see in us. Would that benefit us or make us more paranoid and worried? Have you ever had someone compliment you on something about yourself and it caught you off guard?
That’s your true self. It’s what you do when you think no one is watching. Those types of compliments heal us. They go beyond, “You look pretty today”… or, “I like that shirt.” These are compliments that showcase who we are inside. Don’t get me wrong, I still worry about what people think. But, I am no longer that guy who needs to go to the store to get hair spray. Besides, if I needed it, I could drive to the store and get it myself.
And if it gets harder to not worry about the things that you cannot control in your life…work politics…gossip…drama. Do this:
Thank you, Taylor Swift.