I like to laugh at myself.

“Bug, let’s brush your teeth…and put on your socks..and where are your shoes? We gotta go…like now…we are gonna be late.”

The six year old princess moved ever so slightly out of her bed while keeping her eyes glued to The Amazing World of Gumball.

She was known to move extra slow when the television grabbed her attention.

“Bug..now.” I turned off the television and the fiery six year old was back in our universe again. She walked grudgingly to start her morning routine.

I checked the clock 7:17…late already. I grabbed my keys and laptop and checked on the little one.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at this knot in my shoe…I bet you can’t untie it…”

Another distraction. After I took care of her shoes we were out the door. I start the car and reach into my pocket…empty. No wallet…no inhaler. I need both…money for coffee and I’m an asthmatic. I look at the clock 7:21. I run to the door, no house key. I run back to the car and grab the garage opener and pray the door is not locked. I open the garage and all three of our dogs scurry out into the driveway. So, now it’s a game of trying to get each dog to follow me back into the garage.

“Meatball…..MEATBALL! Penny….PENNY! Toby….TOBY!!….TOBY!!….TOBY!!”

My daughter started to panic. “Daddy! Toby ran down the hill….he’s not coming back…I think he wants to find a new home.”

I knew he would be the problem. I watched as each dog walked back into the garage with my daughter. I closed the garage and knew I was losing precious time. Toby was old…and more defiant. And grumpy. Whenever he gets angry, I can literally hear him say, “You young people and your new fangled contraptions….back in my day, we had to send telegrams…or write letters.”

I ran back out and searched for the old pekingnese. I looked left and right. Nothing. It was quiet…too quiet. My mind was racing. I ran down the driveway and looked at all my neighbors’ yards. No pekingnese. I ran down the street and looked to the left. I could see a white furball smelling a bush and slowly lifting his leg to relieve himself.

“TOBY….TOBY!! COME HERE!”

He turned around and seemed to say, “On my time whippersnapper…I will come when I am done. You young people and your sense of urgency…you think I care about traffic in the morning? Back in my day, we walked everywhere…we didn’t need cars…or GPS…or air conditioning.”

I ran to where he was and realized I had to pick him up. I braced for the fury that would erupt once he realized he was being carried. I reached down and snuck behind him and lifted him.

“….put me down..now…NOW. You are lucky my arthritis is killing me…you would lose a finger for sure young man. And what would you do then eh? Can’t type on your little phone…or text or whatever you do on that little screen.”

I ran back to the house and my daughter was relieved to see Toby in my arms.

“Yay! I would be sad if Toby left us….”

“I know…and you would lose me too cause your mom would kill me.” I grabbed my wallet and inhaler as I walked out the door.

We walked back to the car and started a journey to school. I reached into my pocket…and felt for my wallet and inhaler.

“Great…left my phone.” I laughed to myself….and thought “I’m not going back…you win this time Toby.”

Toby...the angry old man.

Toby…the angry old man.

Today’s daily prompt asks us to write a tagline about ourselves…my life is filled with moments where I just laugh at myself.

I like to laugh at myself.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/tagline/

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7 thoughts on “I like to laugh at myself.

  1. Pingback: Branded | Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me

  2. Pingback: Fool Me Once: The Prompt | The Daily Prompt Alternative

  3. OMG- been there, dude!

    When my son was 3 and my daughter 1- I had her eating in her highchair and my son was walking around… Anyway, I go to grab something quickly out of the garage and the door leading to the garage had one of those handles that turned (but was still in lock mode and the outside was locked) and I stepped out- upon the heavy fire door slamming behind me- I realized I had locked myself in the garage. It took me 3 seconds of panic to realize to open the big garage door and walk around to the front door… except, the front door was locked too….

    So I rang the door bell to get my 3 year olds attention, but that week the preschool had an earthquake and then fire alarm (unexpected and didn’t have time to prepare the kids) and so my ringing the doorbell a few times to get his attention, freaked my son out and I could hear him running upstairs next to the kitchen window crying “too loud, too loud, too loud.” I had to shout up at the window (thank god it was OPEN) to get my son’s attention “HOney, it’s mommy. I need you to come downstairs and meet me at the front door.” And thank goodness I left the child gate at the top of the stairs open too (because he wouldn’t have figured that one out) After coaxing, I was able to talk to him through the door and eventually tell him how to open it for mommy.

    Meanwhile, my husband was on an airplane, unreachable for 6 hours and I had huge fear my 1 year old was going to choke while eating and I wouldn’t be there to help her. I don’t know what I would have done had my 3 year old not opened the door. After an hour, of ensuring the kids were okay and getting the little one out of the chair, I could laugh and laughed and laughed. My husband changed our locks that very weekend to deadbolts. 🙂

    Flop

    • LOL! Parents always go through adventures…we go through these moments of panic and laugh it off later. There was a time when my daughter was 3 and we were xmas tree shopping. We found a tree, so i drove the car up to the front of the lot and left the car running with my little one still in her seat. My wife and I start strapping the tree to the top and realize we just locked ourselves outside the car with the little one in there still…and the car running. And five seconds later it starts to rain. It was fantastic..lol. We panicked, I ran to find a worker and he called the fire department…and right when he gets off the phone with the fire department, my little one reaches over and unlocks the door. I had no clue she knew how to do that lol.

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