Being an adult.

As a kid, decisions were easy. It mainly was based on a few variables…will whatever I choose be fun? Will I get in trouble for this? Will my parents find out? And if they do, how easily can I hide whatever it is that I did? But as an adult, decisions are not as easy. They have consequences. They affect your family, your loved ones, your time, your finances, and your future. And depending on what your priorities are, the decision could have a real negative affect on your loved ones. And more often than not, there are numerous consequences to different aspects of the decision. For example, a decision could affect your finances and family at the same time. Loved ones could disagree with your decisions and you have to take that into account.

I am in the middle of a big boy decision and feel myself being pulled in different directions. I see the benefits for each decision, but I also see the consequences for each decision. Sometimes your decision affects not only other people, but how their own time will need to be spent. I am looking for an answer…I need an answer. Sometimes, we wish we could just scream into the sky and say “God, please tell me what I need to do here….show me exactly what you want to do…send me an e-mail…a text…anything please.” But, of course, that doesn’t happen. So we search for signs….

“Well, that is the second Volkswagen Beetle I saw today, so it’s obvious I need to choose the second thing. Yeah, that’s it.”

And then the decisions depend on who we are as people. I am more of a “hope or faith” person, and have always been since I was a kid. I make decisions and “hope” for the best. I have “faith” that things will work out in the end. But, this way of thinking is maddening also. Can I spend the rest of my life just “hoping” and “having faith?” When do I stop doing that? Are adults supposed to make decisions based on “hope?” Or is the right decision not the current one….and am I supposed to wait for my real “opportunity?” I know exactly what I want and for some reason I feel it is coming my way. If I were to jump on this opportunity now, would I regret it later if what I really want is coming in the near future?

Being an adult is great…you get all the rights…privileges…but with that comes all the other stuff, taxes, mature problems, and that dreaded word…responsibility. Sometimes we wish we can just wake up and make the “kid” decisions again…what games do I want to play today? What cartoon do I want to watch today? But one thing that definitely disappears faster as an adult is time. We have less of it. We don’t get enough sleep. We don’t have enough free time. We don’t have enough time with loved ones. We don’t have enough time to do the things we really want to do. So, most of my decisions lately deal with time…will this decision affect my “time.” My current decisions have taken all “days off” from me. There is never a day where I can be at home and have a normal day off. If I have a scheduled day off, it is spent at a coffee shop waiting for my daughter’s school day to end. My “days off” still require being on the road for an hour and a half. My “days off” from one position are usually spent working a side job for extra money. I don’t know what to do.


7 thoughts on “Being an adult.

  1. I love your storytelling ability! Just an observation that we all can view the term “day off” so amazingly different.
    I know one person who on his day off literally takes that to mean it’s a sofa recliner day and that’s what he will be doing all day long. Nothing wrong with that.
    I find myself in a similar predicament as you in that I work 2 jobs and I really don’t have a “normal day” off. It’s been this way for awhile. How I remedy that with the family is by being much more spontaneous and living each day to the fullest rather than looking forward to a “day off.” But having stated that I believe it’s of utmost importance to schedule vacation time when possible!

    • Thank you so much! Yeah, I definitely like my days off to be on my couch playing video games or Netflix. I can never really feel at rest in a coffee shop for 6 hours. Plus, sitting in traffic is never fun. I am trying to be more open to doing a lot more outdoorsy things…and we certainly do need a vacation lol

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