He knew everyone here. He smiled on the surface. He waved. He greeted. He looked towards the windows and saw the only face that mattered…his daughter’s. She laughed when they caught eyes and began to stick her tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out back at her. She laughed hysterically. He tried to hold in his laughter but couldn’t. Later that morning, that little girl was gone and the man was alone again. His day continued slowly, he watched the clock and met many unfriendly faces that morning. He wanted to slide away unnoticed.
Sometimes, we can be surrounded by scores and crowds of people and still feel alone. We face this internal conflict that no one can understand but ourselves. We question why we feel these emotions. We start to have conversations in our own heads.
“Why am I feeling this way? I have friends…family…loved ones.” The source of this aloneness and emptiness is different for each person. Personally, it comes and goes with me. And it comes down to potential. My grandmother said this to me when I was a kid and it still holds true.
“Daniel…you are smart. But you are too lazy.”
And I stare at this laptop screen and stare at my unfinished book. I read and reread every completed chapter. I get distracted by whatever viral video is trending and there goes my drive. But, it’s there. I see it. I see my finished book on the shelves at the nearest bookstore. I hear book clubs meeting to discuss my book. My phone rings and it’s Oprah…she wants to talk about all the twists and turns of my book. And what’s this? Ryan Gosling and Anna Kendrick were cast to play the leads in the movie version of my book? Awesome. But, thats not happening.
I’m still here, that guy in the corner of a coffee shop staring at his laptop. Future writer of a best-seller? Maybe. Stay tuned. I will have an excerpt posted sometime this week.