“Daddy…see I told you…traffic.”
“Yeah I see it baby, but we won’t be late.”
The 6 year old princess sighed.
“Here baby…let’s find your radio station.”
I find Kids Place Live on satellite radio and my daughter’s favorite radio DJ starts to stream into the speakers. The princess is no longer unhappy. A song starts to play and I can see my daughter singing the song in the back. Halfway through the song, her facial expression changes and looks bothered.
I look back and ask her:
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Daddy…who let the dogs out?”
“What do you mean? What dogs?”
“…in the song. Who let the dogs out? The man…the man is singing about dogs and who let them out.”
I laughed outloud. This is the song she was talking about:
This really was a dilemma to my daughter. She sings to every song. But, this is not the first time she has asked about the meaning of this song.
“Baby, I’m not sure why the dogs were let out. And why they can’t be let out. Maybe someone let them out because they ate a lot of dog food and needed to use the bathroom. We let our dogs out to use the bathroom all the time.”
The answer seemed to satisfy her curiousity.
I dropped her off and headed to my usual spot at the coffee shop. I sat down and thought I was forgetting something. After a few minutes, I realized I wanted to stop by the DMV(Department of Motor Vehicles) to check on something. Now, if you have never been to the DMV, you are lucky. It is one of the single most depressing and boring places to be. You are only happy during your first trip…and that’s because you are probably getting your drivers license for the first time. Ever other time after that, is terrible. The lines are long…everyone is frowning…everyone is angry…and that’s just the people visiting. It was too late to go to the DMV, so I thought:
“..hello. Just call them. I’m sure they have a customer service number.”
It’s gotta be much better than being there.
I get a recording. “All representatives are busy, but we can call you back between 18 and 33 minutes.”
Sweet, I can just go back to watching funny cat videos and they will call me back. Time flies and I notice my phone screen blinking. They are calling…so I answer it.
“Hello, this is the DMV, how can we help you?”
“Hi, here is my question…hello…hello?”
Phone call dropped. Ok, let’s try this again. I have time to kill.
Same recording except it sounded like this: All representatives are busy, but we can call you back between 45 and 57 minutes.”
Hmm…ok, I will wait again.
Time comes…and I notice I have not received a phone call back. I check the time and calculate how much time has lapsed…an hour and 20 minutes. So, I decide to just call again. I start to dial and received a notification that I had just missed a phone call. Guess from who? Yes, the DMV. I was furious.
Same recording except it sounded like this: All representatives are busy, but we can call you back between one hour and one hour and 17 minutes. This is getting ridiculous. Time passes and I notice 30 minutes had passed. Nature calls and I have to use the restroom. I have plenty of time. I head to the bathroom and open the door and notice one thing….the whole bathroom floor is wet. I stand there and think:
“What is this? This can’t possible be pee, right? Because that would be an insane thing for someone to do…just skip the toilet and pee all over the whole floor.” But, people are crazy….and it was in fact pee.
After realizing this, my mind raced.
“WHY WOULD anyone do this? I know california is in a drought…and we have been told to conserve water…is this some guy’s twisted way to skip using water? Just pee on the ground, so you don’t have to flush the toilet…and not flushing the toilet helps conserve water because you didn’t use the toilet at all?”
I had to go. So I did.
I open the bathroom door and see another person was waiting for me. Great, now he will think I am the guy who pee’d all over the floor. I head back to my spot and see a notification on my phone….missed call. NO…NO…NO. That was 30 minutes DMV…you said between one hour and one hour and 17 minutes. Did you somehow decide to call me early? Why was I the chosen one to receive an early call? I mentally blamed the guy who pee’d all over the floor.
I had to get this done…so I tried one last time. I called the DMV and the recording said this:
“All representatives are busy, but we can call you back in over two hours.”
And that’s where I stand…the ball is in your court DMV.
Call me, maybe?