Not naked, but afraid and useless.

TV has taught me something the past few weeks. It has showed me that I am useless.

I can’t fix anything. I can’t build anything. I don’t know a thing about cars. I’m not good with directions. I get lost going anywhere. I have no skills.

I was watching a show last night with my wife called, Naked and Afraid. If you have never heard of or seen the show, let me give you a quick breakdown. A man and a woman are dropped off at some random spot in nature…in a jungle, rainforest, desert, or woodsy area…they have no food….and they must survive for 21 days, and yes, they are also naked. They have no idea who their partner will be and what type of person they will be. They just need to survive. They have to build a home out of whatever…leaves, branches…and hunt. And do all this…naked. Naked. No clothes. So the typical show starts like this:

“Hey…yeah I’m Bob.”

“Hi, I’m Mary…nice to meet you.”

And they usually giggle or laugh cause they are talking to a stranger with no clothes.

“Well, we should probably go and find stuff to build a shelter…and build a fire too.”

That’s it. Hey, I don’t know you…and you don’t know me…but I will need to depend on you for 21 days to survive. There are animals…bugs…no clean water…no Mcdonald’s…no 7-11s. And the idea of being naked disappears. They go and build a shelter with someone else’s “cash and prizes” all in their face. I always imagine myself in this situation…and what I would do.

“Hi, yeah I’m Dan. I have to warn you…I’m not really good at anything. Umm, so I hope you know how to do stuff..like build a fire…or hunt…because I’m kinda hungry right now.”

And once the camera creeps up behind me…

“Whoa…please no butt shots. I haven’t done squats in a long time…and I probably shouldn’t have had that burrito before we landed here. What time is it? Oh yeah, you are probably not wearing a watch. I hope my wife is recording The Walking Dead for me..”

And during this stretch of 21 days, they get sick…they get rained on…and sometimes they don’t eat at all. Can you imagine not eating a thing or drinking clean water for 21 days? I’ve eaten a slice of pizza and a cinnamon roll in the past 10 minutes…that would be impossible for me.

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