An unexpected question and the masks that we wear.

When I have time with my little one, I fill the air with goofy comments and questions. It’s my way to keep her entertained in our traffic filled mornings. But, today was different. Bug was singing to the radio and suddenly stopped. “Daddy?” “Yes, my love?” “What’s wrong?” It came out of left field. Every conversation is about her…I ask her about her days, what she did with her Uncle Pizza, how she is feeling…it has never been about me. “What do you mean?” “You are quiet. You are not singing this song with me.” “Nothing baby, I am ok. Thank you for asking.” She went back to singing “Bright” by Echosmith. But, of course, there was something wrong. As parents, we wear masks sometimes. We are expected to keep these happy masks in front of other people…especially our children. We have adult problems…adult issues. My little one shouldn’t be worrying about anything. Her head should be filled with visions of Spongebob Squarepants, Pokemon, and other funny stuff. It made me think…when do I ever take off my “mask?” Some of us refuse to take off the “mask”. We don’t want anyone to know who we really are..and what we feel. It’s comfortable for us. But others, have our “masks” off from the very beginning. We are comfortable in our own skin and we want the world to know who we are. As a freelance writer, I think we are more on the latter part of the spectrum. We share our feelings with the world through our written and typed words. We embrace the emotions, from sadness…to happiness…to depression….to loneliness…and channel that energy into writing. It enhances the writing process. Try it. Write something when you are feeling utter joy…when you are in love. And then, when sadness or anxiety comes…write again. You will see the difference in your writing. Imagine a world where we didn’t have any “masks.” We said what we wanted…and acted the way we wanted to. The way we acted in the safety of our own room…was the same in a public shopping mall. When we felt something, we said it..we expressed it. We didn’t care who was watching…we didn’t worry about judgment. Would that be a better world? Or worse?

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14 thoughts on “An unexpected question and the masks that we wear.

  1. I tend to say what I need to and it gets me in trouble sometimes. That is the issue with being a straight shooter. That is how I am. For better or worse.

    • I wear my heart on my sleeve…and I think I communicate better through writing. It will be interesting to see when my daughter is older and can read all this stuff and learn about the struggles of parenting

      • Yes! I also blog in the hopes that my son will want to see what I was going though and all the things that were going on when he was young

  2. Great article and great question! Personally, whenever those emotional ups and downs come into play. I write it down. I don’t always share it. But, its always made me feel better about my situation. Thanks for sharing!

  3. As parents, of course we don’t want our kids to worry. However, there are certain things about “real life” they need to understand, like their parents are real people with emotions and it’s okay for adults to have said emotions, IMO. My poor kids don’t have much of a choice; I’m a terrible liar and am absolutely transparent with my emotions whether I want to be or not, lol. If my worries aren’t appropriate for sharing I’ll tell them it’s an adult issue and for mommy and daddy to worry about, not them. I wish I could wear a mask like other parents, some days more than others, but especially over these last two years.

    • I agree…she just started understanding the concept of people who are good…and people who are bad. She asked my wife about why police officers pull people over two days ago, so she is starting to get the role of police officers in our society and why they are needed. And is starting to ask about “secret” words that her classmates are talking about(profanity, foul language) lol

  4. You know, I suppose this was more true of me as a teenager and peer pressure, but I’ve always been exactly me. I’m unable to be any other way. I was always told I never have a poker face. Everyone knows what I’m thinking and I say it all on Facebook and WordPress. There’s a freedom in it, but it does get you in trouble- like when you are frutstrated with the school system and no one wants to respond to your post because they are friends with teachers on facebook. I feel I can’t be honest when it comes to my son’s learning disability without there being repercussions later at school so I started a new blog that no one knows (had an old one that my facebook friends know about) so I can say exactly what I’m thinking when I want to blast the school/teacher/district where they are failing my son. I haven’t done any of those posts (yet) I need support that basically annonymity will provide from strangers. Other than that, most people I surround myself with all speak their minds. I prefer to keep it real.

    • I remember a specific conversation my parents had when I was a kid..it was about money and not having enough of it. I didn’t understand the concept of that yet. And asking my mom to watch a movie in the theater, she replied “We can’t baby, we don’t have any money.” It bothered me and made me wonder why certain people have more than others, and how we could get more. We used to live in a small community with lots of retirees..and some of the birthday parties my daughter went to were ridiculous. The parents were well off and had stone fountains in the front and each parent there had a very high profile job…so when our daughter came back home to our humble home, she started asking about wanting a bigger house lol. And certain tooth fairies were giving each kid a 100 bucks for a tooth lol. We certainly couldn’t compete with that…when I was a kid, I received quarters lol.

      • me too! 1 quarter, finally increased to 2 quarters. I think I got a $1.00 for this one troublesome molar. We gave our kids a $1.00 for the regular teeth, and $5.00 for the molars. (still have some baby teeth to go) just to kind of match what others are receiving. Growing up, we never had $$ either. So I can relate. We live in a 2 bedroom condo and my 9 year old (girl) and 11 year old (boy) share a bedroom. They have been asking for a bigger place. We live in Southern CA and just can’t afford. Guess my son will have to take the couch or we’ll have to clear out the garage, or move out of state. 🙂

      • We lived in a small city near wine country…that place was crazy expensive, no target…no walmart…and like two fast food places. I sure did miss Burger King and Carl’s Jr lol. We live in a bigger city…more places to eat…cheaper…its home lol

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