Do I smell weird?


Earlier this week, I sat down at my usual favorite spot at the coffee shop. It’s a long table that has several seats…and is usually filled up with other people doing work or meeting with friends. The shop was empty so it made sense that I was able to sit alone at this big table by myself. Time passed and lunch came around. The coffee shop started to fill up and all the tables around my big table started to fill up. I looked up and saw every single spot filled up except my big table….I looked at saw seven empty seats next to me.

“Hmm..that’s weird.”

So I pulled off my ear buds and investigated. I watched person after person go into line and do the normal glance over to see if there were any spots to sit. A few looked in my direction and didn’t walk to my empty and lonely table. Instead, they decided to stand and wait near counters.

“What? There is plenty of room right here….its comfy…cozy…why doesn’t anyone want to sit here …at my table?”

I got paranoid.

“Do I smell weird?” I brushed my teeth this morning. Deodorant? Check.

Did I develop some weird reputation within the coffee shop-goers?

“Oooh there is a spot…oh wait, that guy is sitting there…you know the guy who is constantly bobbing his head to his ridiculous music. He’s irritating. Let’s sit outside.”

“There…look…that table…sit there. Nope, that guy who sneezes too much and then apologizes and blames allergies.”

“Man, not there…that guy eavesdrops in on our conversations…and looks over my laptop to see what I am looking at…he is rude. He laughs outloudly and turns his laptop towards us and tries us to show us all these funny cat videos. I mean, I don’t mind watching one or two…but 9 in a row?”

Whatever it was…it bothered me. Hey, I am pleasant to sit around…really. Yes, I may interrupt your deep conversation with your friend and give you terrible advice…and sometimes sing inappropriate lyrics to rap songs a little too loudly. But, I’m really not that bad. I say interesting and thought provoking things like:

“Whoa..some weather we are i right?”

“Whoa…nice laptop…am I right?”

“This cinnamon roll is to die for…am I right?”

I mean, who wouldn’t want to sit next to me….am i right?


14 thoughts on “Do I smell weird?

  1. Maybe you are just intimidating? At least someone didn’t sit down next to you and then get up and decide to wait in the corner instead, right? That might confirm that you smell. Lol

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