“What time do you have work today?” My wife asked…
“I don’t have work…I will be at the coffee shop til Bug is out.”
“Why don’t I pick her up..so you can have a day off.”
I have a day off today. A real day off. Not a day off where I have to drop off my little one at school and then wait for 6 hours at a coffee shop to pick her up. A day off…at home. My mind was filled with possibilities on what to do on my day off. One thing is for sure, I will probably be wearing this:
Yes, that is a onesie. And yes, that is from the movie Dumb and Dumber. And yes, my dogs are fighting in that picture. I could do absolutely nothing and it would be heaven. In fact, before I wrote this I stared at my ceiling for thirty minutes straight…and it was heaven. But, I knew I couldn’t spend this whole day staring at my popcorn topped ceiling. I had to do something. I had to be productive. But my opinion of “being productive” might be different then yours…
1. Cleaning. Well, when I say “cleaning”, I don’t mean cleaning the garage…or the backyard…or the kitchen. I mean cleaning out the DVR, silly goose. I have TV to catch up on! 16 episodes of The Voice, a few random documentaries, a Pokemon movie, a baseball game from two weeks ago…more Naked and Afraid episodes.
2. Eating. When I am at the coffee shop, it is my normal coffee and cinnamon roll. But, I am at home now…so I will probably open the fridge and eat anything I see. Last week’s chicken? Yes. My little one’s candy bags from all the birthday parties she went to this weekend…oh yes. She won’t notice a few candy bars missing and besides I will just blame it on the dog. How about that box of cereal that is kinda expired…the box that no one will throw away because they are too lazy to do it(and by “no one”, I mean me)? Oh, I will eat that with milk that is kinda expired also. And so what if I am lactose intolerant? I am at home remember? Pooping with no interruptions…YAY ME!
3. Video Gaming. A good buddy of mine had a great conversation about RPG classics on the PS2. I told him about how I had not played certain games and how that affected me mentally..and how my life would not be complete unless I beat those games. He saw and understood my tremendous pain…and handed me a box with a PS2 and all the games we talked about. Huge brownie points…a bro-hug…my admiration forever…and I will name my second born child after him. But, I probably won’t have another child…so I will just have to name that kinda expired cereal box after him. So, no longer will you be Frosted Flakes…you will be a cereal box named Matt. You’re welcome. I could play all day in my onesie if I wanted to.
4. Sleeping. I could sleep all day if I wanted to. But, I don’t nap…ever. I sleep when I am supposed to sleep. Besides, I slept early this past saturday because I literally ate food for two hours straight at a party I went to that day. Hey, I arrived three hours late…so I had to make up for time lost. Plus, my wife was baking all night and literally woke me up in the middle of the night and handed me a cinnamon roll and told me to eat it. And if someone hands you a pastry in the middle of the night..you eat it.
I could do all that today…but let me finish staring at the ceiling first.