“Man, I used to…” and Big Papi was not happy.

I went to the bank last week.

“Hey…how’s it goin’ man?”

“Good sir…may I see your ID please?”

“Sure, here it is…yes, I know what you are thinking…I look a lot like Ryan Gosling. No autographs right now please.” I laughed to myself. The teller stayed stone-faced.

The banker took care of my transaction. He handed me my ID back. I looked at it and started to stare at my own face.

“My face is looking older…” I thought to myself. And it hit me:

“Dude…you are 36 now. You are different now.” My eyes looked heavier now. I could see bags underneath my eyes.

“Are those my eyebrows now? Even my eyebrows look older….maybe they sell some eyebrow gel…to make it look younger.” Yes. I was panicking a little.

I walked away from the counter with a worried look on my face. I reached for my keys and they slipped out of my hand and hit the floor.

“What? Am I more clumsy now? I can’t even handle the process of taking my keys out and keeping it in my hand.”

I bent over and grabbed the keys on the ground. A sharp pain pierced my lower back.

“WHAT! What was that pain? I never felt that before…was that some freak back injury caused by my inability to take keys out of my pocket?”

That’s when I figured out that my life is now a constant conversation in my head that starts like this:

“Man, I used to be able to stay up all night….and do it all again the next day.”

“Man, I used to hop from party to party…bar to bar….and now I spend my weekends at birthday parties for children and farmer’s markets.”

“Man,I used to have crazy friday nights…now my friday nights are filled bad eating while watching the Food Network and then falling asleep at a reasonable hour.”

The internet is different for me now…when I was younger I used the internet to meet people. I was in chat rooms saying:

“Hey…got a pic?”

Now, I use the internet like this:

“….searching WebMD for weird back pain when grabbing keys off ground…”

or

“…craigslist.org….weed trimmer or gardening tools…”

But, that’s life now….and I love it.

I was driving home from work  the other day and looked at my gas tank….yellow light was on. So, being the responsible adult that I am…I searched for a gas station, turned on my signal light and pulled into an available pump. I pumped my gas and a man came up to me.

“..Hey..hey…Big Papi…can I borrow some change for a hamburger?”

I reached into my pocket and gave him the change in my pocket.

I laughed to myself…first of all, he called me Big Papi. I am asian. And it might have been one of the only times in history that an asian guy was called Big Papi. I can cross that off the bucket list now. I got in my car and started to drive off and noticed a black car in the middle of the busy intersection….with two girls sitting on top off the car bouncing. One of them stopped to pull out her phone and take a selfie. This Big Papi was not happy.

“Seriously? A selfie in the middle of the intersection? A sit on top of my car while bouncing in the busy intersection selfie?”

Who does this? I honked my horn and received 3 middle fingers from the bouncing females on top of the car. I didn’t know what to say. I was angry but I had to say something:

“Hey…that’s dangerous…you’re in the middle of the intersection…and I don’t think your car’s shocks can take that pressure…you break that car…your mom is gonna be mad. And then, you will be grounded and can’t go out on that date with Timmy or Brian or whatever your boyfriend’s name is…and then what? Ha…who gets the last laugh…all your other friends will be at the movies…while you are at home…taking a ‘i’m grounded selfie'”

Yeah…that’s the ticket. Don’t mess with Big Papi.

Today’s daily prompt asks us how our year has been…an every day struggle of realizing what I can and cannot do. Thanks a lot Father Time.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/state-of-your-year/

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17 thoughts on ““Man, I used to…” and Big Papi was not happy.

  1. I can sorta relate with what you kinda say about the internet. I tried to meet people but the my interests and theirs are already at a gap. This has given me an idea for a post of my own later when I have some time.

  2. YES- it starts with the dropping of things. My god, I started doing that in my 30’s. Now, in my 40s, crap I’m lucky if I remember to pick up the keys in the first place.Like Trista said in her recent post about passing 40 – you forget what you’re doing. Where are the KEYS?

    Yes, the bags under the eyes were the first changes we saw immediately after marriage and a couple years into kids. My hubby and I would look back at photos and say- who are those people? We look so relaxed. No, no matter the amount of sleep could rid us of looking perpetually tired now.

    So for those aging without a sense-of-humor, better go out and buy one, highly recommended or you’ll cry the rest of your days.

    Sandi

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