“…Daddy what is this?”
“It’s fried rice baby..fried rice.”
The six-year old girl smiled and dug into her food. The smile changed to a frown.
“…Daddy, this is not fried rice…”
“Baby yes it is…its just not like the kind we get at restaurants..but it’s fried rice…FILIPINO style fried rice.”
“I don’t like JALAPENO fried rice…there is no carrots..no peas…this is not fried rice…this is just rice rice.”
“..please baby just eat it. I will give you a treat if you eat it.”
“Oooh…what will the treat be?”
“Electricity…electricity is a treat…without it, we could not watch TV. Water..is a treat…hey, and where we live, it’s very important…California is in a drought. So that water…that water in your little cup in front of you is a treat. You’re welcome.”
The answer did not sit well. And the little one was not happy.
“Fine..ice cream…ice cream…you eat the JALAPENO rice…and you can have ice cream.”
Bug was happy.
“YAY! Ice cream for breakfast. You’re the best Daddy.”
I sat there and tried to justify ice cream for breakfast.
“Well, ice cream has milk in it…and cereal in milk is considered breakfast. So, basically my daughter is eating cereal for breakfast. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Well, a ticket to sleep on the couch-ville if wifey finds out her daughter had a nourishing and nutritious bowl of ice cream for breakfast.”
Lately, my daughter has been using the, “what treat will you give me if I do this?” phrase. And I admit, it is probably my fault.
“Baby, please fix your bed…I will give you a treat if you do.”
“Baby, hurry up and do your homework…I will give you a treat if you do.”
But, as parents, sometimes we accidentally give our kids bad habits. I bite my nails…it is a bad habit and I have done it since I was a kid. And guess what? I have caught my kid biting her nails. Now, if she starts to bite her toe nails, we definitely have a problem. Who wants to talk face-to-face to a kid who has been chewing on toe nails? Not I, said the fly. Luckily that has not happened.
I had a day off today so my daughter and I spent the day watching random TV shows and playing video games. She disappeared and came back with a little tube and started to use lip gloss.
“What are you doing? Is that make-up?”
“No…it’s lip gloss. It’s not make-up..”
“That’s make-up….you are putting it on your lips…and making it all shiny and glittery. That’s basically lipstick.”
“It’s lip gloss…I like my mouth to be shiny.” She stormed off and went to her room. I sat there and went back to the important business of watching cartoons on Netflix. My daughter came back.
“Can I use the scissors Dad?”
I sat there and didn’t even think about the ramifications of my answer. Five minutes later, it sunk in….scissors…a 6-year old in her room somewhere with scissors….what is she using it for? First, she comes out wearing some glossy lip makeup..and now she wants scissors…is she going to cut her own hair? Give herself a makeover? Is my little one turning into a Kardashian or something? Come to think of it, she has been developing a bit of an attitude lately and I have caught her watching the E! Channel on cable. How am I going to explain to my wife that I wasn’t paying attention and let Bug loose with scissors in the house…
“Bug…Bug…BUG? What are you doing with scissors?” I ran into the room and saw my daughter cutting little shapes from paper.
“I’m going to make a necklace…see?”
I was relieved. You stay away from my kid, Kardashians.