You don’t have to lie to kick it.

We sat down for dinner a few days ago. Wifey and I talked to Bug about her day and she asked to excuse herself.

“I have to go to the bathroom…”

A few minutes passed and our little one sat down again but something was different.

I looked at her face.

“Baby..what’s that…on your face?”

There was a brownish powdery substance on her cheek and side of her mouth.

She stopped and tried to wipe it off.

“Oh…it was earlier.”

We put on our parental detective hats and started the interrogation.

“Earlier? No…that wasn’t there before we started dinner. What is that?”

Bug sensed we were on to her.

“I think it was from a banana I ate.”

I questioned her, “So you went to the bathroom…found a banana…ate it…and came back to dinner?”

“I think so…”

“You think so? You are not sure you ate a banana? Are you are not sure what you ate?”

She was caught in a lie…she knew it…she needed an escape.

“Well…I think I went to grandma’s room…and ate some chocolate…and then came here.”

I laughed in my head.

“Baby…you don’t have to lie ok? Just tell the truth. You ate candy? I like candy too…you could have gave us some. We both like chocolate. Next time, please don’t lie. We won’t get mad.”

This makes me laugh….especially when she kept saying, “I think…I think I ate…I think.”

She didn’t want to commit to the lie…it was not lying, it was a case of bad memory…eating a random banana on the way from the bathroom back to the dinner table…and not remembering the banana. And then when she knew she was caught, she THOUGHT it was candy from grandma’s room…again, commitment issues. We have all lied, and when you are committed to a lie, you have to go all out…there is no turning back. Fortunately, she has not learned that…but she will. But, as a parent, those are battles we will have….battles we had with our own parents. But, it is the size of the lie that will hurt. Did it bother us that she lied? Yes, of course. Do we trust her less? No. But, as she grows older…the lies will grow.

“Baby, did you do your homework?”

“Yes…I did.”

Report card comes….F.

“I thought you did your homework.” Lie.

“Daddy…I’m going to go the movies…with my girlfriends.”

Friend or relative sees her at the movies….no girlfriends…but with a boy. Lie.

The real battle will be how we as parents will deal with it.

(By the way, I apologize for the title…I absolutely hate that phrase…i literally die inside whenever I hear someone say that.)


13 thoughts on “You don’t have to lie to kick it.

  1. Yeah, it’s part of parenthood – even more so as they grow, it seems. When my middle daughter and her friend were 16, they told me that the friend’s dad was taking them to a certain shopping plaza and picking them up later. They then told the friend’s dad that WE were picking them up later. (They had no intention of staying at the plaza where they were being dropped off – I have no idea where they were actually planning to go, or whom they were planning to meet). Something smelled a bit off, so I went out to the car when the friend’s dad came to pick up my daughter, and told him that my husband and I were definitely not driving anywhere later, and that he may have been misinformed in that regard.

    Needless to say, the evening’s festivities were cancelled for both girls. My daughter was royally pissed at me (I was so proud of myself!).

    • Yeah, that totally scares me. I have no clue how I am going to handle lies like that…especially if a lie includes a boy. The world is a scary place…and all we can do is trust them. But, great mom instincts!! i think my wife has the same instinct…and I am sure she is prepared lol.

  2. That is not a phrase I had heard before.
    Yes as sure as the day is long, kids will lie. I had one child who lied to my face while crying because I didn’t believe him. He produced tears to sell the lie. Oh, they were good. Very good. At being bad. 😦
    I think the thing about lying that bothers me is people seem to accept it as no big deal anymore. Everyone lies. My husband just told me about a statistic he heard or read, that 75% of people on facebook are lying about something. 75%!!!
    That means out of every 4 people, 3 are lying. That is distressing. People don’t value honesty anymore.

    • Yeah, I remember doing that as a kid…lying..and then crying to sell the lie. As parents, we just have to learn how to detect that stuff. Social media promotes that type of behavior…and our world is dominated by social media. Trust is such an important thing to cherish..and sadly it seems it is much harder to trust anything anyone says anymore.

  3. I was sure that it was going to be Ex-Lax that she’d eaten, given her quick trip to the bathroom. See how suspicious those of us with no kids are? I can only guess what it would be like as a parent. (Well, I was a step parent for 14 years, so I sorta know!

  4. Never heard that phrase… I will have to look it up. But yeah…. my daughter is working on that lying thing. Somehow I lucked out and when I say I am so disappointed, it works. She does not lie often, so I try to find out why she did so. The biggest one scared me – she went to her cousin’s house next door while my husband and I slept. Now, she cannot be outside by herself for a while.
    Work in progress….

    • Yeah my little one doesn’t have the full commitment to the lie..which makes it kinda funny lol. But, it really scares me…and it makes me wonder what stuff she has lied about and we haven’t caught…and who is she learning this behavior from.

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