I have three jobs….sort of. And with these three jobs comes a LOT of driving. And with all that driving comes traffic. For example, on the drive home last night from coaching basketball, it took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to get home. Bumper to bumper traffic. It is exhausting and useless time doing nothing but sitting and waiting. But, what makes my drive even more boring is not the traffic itself. It’s these guys:
I am sure you know who these guys are…and if you don’t because you live in a cave with no power….and no MTV….no access to radio….or social media, then let me introduce you to the mega boy band One Direction. I’m sure when some of you saw the picture above, something inside you screamed like a teenager at a Justin Bieber concert. And if you love One Direction, I know what you are saying.
“What? One Direction? Why do they make your long car ride even more boring than it already is? What do you have against this group of handsome men? Why hate on them? They make beautiful music that bring tears to my ears….and yes, I am aware that is physically impossible for ears to cry…but these guys have the power to do that…make ears physically cry. In fact, Dan, everytime I listen to a One Direction song, I have to get a box of tissues and stuff them in my ears…because my ears get flooded with tears when I hear them sing. So, you know what Dan? You are just jealous. That’s it…You wish you could sing like them…and I have heard your voice…it is very Kermit the Frog-like. So take that.”
And I would say.
“Ok, calm down lover of all things One Direction. I have nothing against those guys, ok? And now I’m worried about your ears. Because, that doesn’t seem healthy…you know, the tears coming out of the ears thing that you suffer from. I mean, if you are listening to One Direction…and you are wearing ear buds…and now you have wet ear buds? I mean, just see a doctor…for me, please. You didn’t let me elaborate on why my ride is boring because of them.”
My little one is obsessed with these guys. Every waking hour, she is watching videos of them on Youtube. And constantly has these conversations with me.
“Daddy…look at Niall’s hair in this video. It’s different in this video. Last time it looked like this….and his clothes are shiny in this one. But, in the other video it is not shiny. Right?”
“Niall? His name is Niall? With two Ls in it? I’ve never heard of him…I only know one Nile…and its a river…yeah, the Nile river. Which is something you should learn in school. We should worry more about the Nile river…than NIALL’s haircut.”
And guess who was on TV four times on New Year’s Eve? You guessed it, One Direction. Now, I am like every other normal human being on New Year’s Eve…I sit down in front of the TV surrounded by bad food that will clog my arteries…and right around 10, I fall asleep. And then I wake up at like 2 in the morning, and say outloud:
“Happy new year….” And then I go back to drooling on my pillow. You too? I knew it, that’s why we are such good friends.
But, I couldn’t do that this year. No, because One Direction was performing at 1:45 in the morning. My 7-year old daughter had her eyes glued to the TV set waiting for them to perform.
“Dad? What song do you think they will sing? Because they sang the other songs I like already….well, I like all the songs….what song do you like Dad?”
“None of them…I like none of them. In fact, the best sound I can hear right now is silence…like we turn off the TV…silence like that.”
It makes me worry. Because this is just another sign that my little one is growing up. I mean, she likes their music…is that the only reason she likes them? I like the jingle in McDonald’s commercials..that’s music…but does that mean I talk about McDonald’s all the time? Well, wait..that’s a bad example because I do talk about that place all the time. You get the point right?
So, if its not just the music she likes….it has to be that she thinks they are cute. She is too young to be worrying about how cute guys are. She should be watching cartoons or coloring in coloring books…it makes me sad just thinking about it.
You did it, One Direction. You stole my girl. See what I did there? Get it? One of their songs is “Steal My Girl.”…so yeah, you stole my little girl.
And why do I have such extensive knowledge of their songs? BECAUSE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEIR MUSIC EVERY TIME I SIT IN THE CAR. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. So, last night was two hours straight of One Direction. And in the morning it’s an hour straight of One Direction. And on the drive home today…it will be another hour of One Direction.
Today’s daily prompt asks us….what bores you? For me, it’s traffic…while listening to non-stop One Direction. And just for fun, here is “Steal My Girl.”