A drawing broke my heart.(And an announcement!)

It was a normal day. A regular day. We started our morning routine…

“Bug, brush your teeth please…” Wifey was rallying the troops.

I watched as Lainy walked ever so slowly to the bathroom to fulfill her mom’s request. Something caught my eye on the TV and I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth also. I open the door and see my little one staring at the mirror while brushing her teeth.

Something was on the mirror….a drawing.

A drawing of a heart….with two initials in the middle of it. I looked at the drawing….I looked at Bug.

 

“Bug, what’s that?”

She looked shocked….and tried to erase it with her hands. But, the damage was done. I knew what that was. A heart…with the initials of a boy in her class. I didn’t know what to say. And proceeded to say the absolute worst thing possible.

 

“Bug….no…no…Bug…please don’t tell me…no.”

I walked out and told my wife what I had seen…and what I had said.

 

“Hon…you can’t say that…she needs to feel that she can confide in us. Good things and bad…even stuff with boys.”

“No, I’m not ready for this…I am not ready for THAT kinda stuff.”

I drove her to school the next day and remained pretty silent. Bug knew that I wasn’t my normal self.

“Daddy…not much traffic today right? I hate traffic. You hate traffic too right?”

She is smart….she poses lots of questions to get me to talk.

“Yeah baby…I do.”

“Hey…its the song you like? I think I like it too.”

“Yes I do like this song…”

And she started to sing it outloud…but changing the words…to include the phrase “I don’t like vegetables” in it. She was trying to make me laugh.

I giggled and she went into her attack mode with her attempts to make me laugh. She won. I couldn’t be mad….or sad.

I dropped her off and watched her walk into school. It seemed different me. I knew this day would come…that boys would not be just classmates anymore. I drove off with watery eyes.

 

I picked her up and saw her come out of her class…with the “boy.” I knew whose initials those were in that drawn heart. She waved at me. I waved back. I imagined myself talking to the “boy.”

 

“So…uhh yeah. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? How’s your credit score? Grades? What makes you think you can take care of my baby girl? Tell me…tell me now.”

It made me laugh inside. It was ridiculous, but there comes a point at when every father feels that. And it was my time. And I realized that I will never be ready for that. Not now…not when she graduates from high school…college…It is just something that a parent just has to expect and deal with.

 

I know it’s been a while…but I’ve been busy on projects. Now, I am a freelance writer. I write for parenting websites, sports websites, and even some celebrity websites. I am focusing less on those and working on a project that I am extremely excited about. If you know me, I am an avid video game player. And you may know my “story.” I have been hired as a writer for a video game website that will be launched tomorrow. This is an absolute dream for me. But, what makes this extra special to me is what this website will do for the community of gamers out there. If you know “my story,” it will make more sense. There is a community of gamers who may have been through what I have been through…and this website will help be a voice for them…a voice to help…a voice to heal. Stay tuned.

(Just in case you were wondering. “hey dan, what was that song your little one said you liked? And that she started singing but changed the words to say ‘i hate vegetables…?)

 

Here it is.

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “A drawing broke my heart.(And an announcement!)

  1. It’s worse with sons.
    A saying I heard before my sons got married or involved with women.
    “A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life,
    A son is a son until he takes a wife.”
    Truer words were never spoken.
    It’s now all about her and her family.
    We get the crumbs.

    Good luck in your new venture. It’s fun to have something you’re excited about.

  2. Can’t… even… Oh goodness. Not sure if I can even imagine having to worry about my daughter thinking about that. I get nervous enough her playing with the kid next door – a boy – and to think that she’ll think of crushes one day?
    Nope. No thanks. I am going to keep her young forever and never have to deal. That is what I’ll do!

    Not going to work? Yeah, didn’t think so. *sigh*

  3. See, and a mom would have over-reacted, but in a different way. What the heck! Did you just draw on the mirror with toothpaste foam? You better wipe that up and hope no ants come! 🙂

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