Something disappeared.

I woke up this past Monday and walked through our hallway and toward the kitchen to make my little one’s lunch box. After putting her lunch box in her backpack I stopped to look at my surroundings. Christmas was still in our living room. The tree stood there fully decorated….the stockings still hanging on our fireplace. It made me sad because the holidays disappeared. I thought about it on the drive to work and realized something was missing during the holiday season….my Christmas spirit. There comes a moment when you feel it….I can’t really explain it, but this joy you feel, it’s different. You can feel happiness…or joy…but feeling Christmas spirit is stronger…deeper. Did I become a Bah Humbug this year? A Mr. Grumpy Grumperson?  No, but I let the holiday season slip by. I didn’t sit and enjoy it ….I didn’t relish it.

I know what you are saying.

 

“What is this? This….Christmas spirit you are talking about? Spirits? Do you believe in ghosts? Or are you talking about spirits like alcohol? Is there a new alcoholic drink called “christmas spirit” that the college kids are drinking? And if so, why are you drinking this Christmas alcohol, Dan? Are you an alcoholic? Do I need to stage an intervention for you?”

 

And I would say.

“Its complicated, ok? I told you, I can’t explain it. And yes, I do believe in ghosts…you ever notice that it gets harder and harder to find matching socks whenever you leave the house? Did the dryer gobble them up? Nope, ghosts take them…my socks never match. And while we are on the subject of socks….why do socks even need to match? They are hidden under our pants…and tucked away in shoes…no one else is gonna see that your socks don’t match. Friendships haven’t ended because your socks didn’t match. You don’t have a friend who was like, ‘you know I think you are awesome…but your sock game is terrible…they don’t even match…this is over.’ And no I am not an alcoholic…but being in an intervention does sound cool…but I’m only addicted to food sorry. But, if you want to stage an intervention with all my closest friends and family to stop me from eating…you are wasting your time, my friend.”

 

And you would say.

“I like matching socks, Dan. What are you saying about me? Are you insulting my fashion choices? I like socks that go together with my outfit. What’s wrong if no one sees them? I know, deep down inside that my socks match…even if no one gets to see them. Have you been looking through my sock drawer? That’s extremely personal. And that fight that I had with my BFF about my socks not matching was supposed to be just between you and us…and now you just told everyone…well, not everyone…but now its on the internet…and that will last forever.”

 

And I would say.

“Ok, look…I am not insulting your fashion or taste in socks. I’m sorry, ok? This argument we are having is going all over the place. Let’s just be friends again ok? I won’t bring up your socks again.”

And you would forgive me….and let me continue writing this post.

As children, Christmas is king. We dream about presents….and how Santa will visit us. We sit on his lap and tell him what we want for Christmas. We count down the days til that day. We leave cookies and milk for him and have sleepless nights waiting for that day to come. You can see Christmas spirit in the eyes of little ones everywhere.

Ok, look…I have to interrupt this post again. Yes, Santa is not real. I know that, and just figured that out 3 years ago. But, isn’t the whole idea of “Santa” a little creepy?

I know what you are saying.

“Oh my gosh, Dan. First you insult my fashion choices…and now you say Santa is creepy? And you found out he wasn’t real only THREE years ago? Aren’t you like 36 years old? So you literally were 33 when you found this out…”

And I would say.

“Look…think about it. On Christmas day….a guy all dressed in red….breaks INTO your house…and doesn’t steal stuff…he actually LEAVES stuff for  you. Three years ago I asked Santa to pay my water bill for me…I even left the water bill right next to the cookies and milk…but he ate the cookies…drank the milk…and left the bill behind. That’s when I knew….now, can I finish? Seriously?”

For adults, Christmas changes for us. Our job turns into making Christmas magical for our little ones. We do our research…figure out what our little one’s heart desires…and make sure they enjoy these holidays. And in that process, we get lost. We get stressed out…we lose sight of how we are feeling inside. Yes, presents are nice…but as adults, we have to try extra hard to feel that spirit. Life gets extra busy during this time. And while we bless our families and friends, realize that others may not be able to enjoy the same things that we do. We can’t lose sight on humanity. There are people hurting…struggling. You can see Christmas spirit in a little one’s eyes….but you can also see hurt and pain in eyes too. You ever talk to someone you have never met before…and accidentally catch eyes with them…and literally see sadness in their eyes. You don’t know them…never had a discussion with them…but you could see pain in their eyes. That breaks my heart. This is a time for family and friends…but it should also be a time to bless others…and build them up. You will get your opportunity to do it…what you do with it is up to you.

Baby, it’s cold outside.

It’s cold.

All those times I complained in the summer…

“It’s too hot…man, I hate it.”

“What, no air-conditioning? I’m staying home.”

“All I do is sweat all day…this is crazy. Where is the ice cream man? I need ice cream…STAT.”

I take it back…you hear me summer? I take it back! Please come back. Where are you sun? It’s cold. I see you, but something is blocking you…something is blocking your precious warming rays from my poor, frostbitten bald head. I think it’s called Winter..or something like that.

I don’t like sweaters…and now I have to wear them every day. And I don’t have many sweaters…so my sweater rotation game is not strong. And I notice you are gone because my PG&E bill is huge. But, i have to make that decision, either we live polar bears in igloos…or continue to pretend we don’t have to walk around the house with layers and layers of clothes covered in blankets.

But, winter isn’t all bad. Because Santa is here. Making appearances all over the world. And one of Santa’s biggest fans couldn’t be more excited.

Bug excited to take pics with the Big Man.

The magic is real and I love it. Santa is definitely a rock star in our house. And her Christmas list for Santa is ready to go.

“Santa,  I want a Science kit…to do experiments.”

Whoa, what? Are you sure you are my kid?  A christmas gift..to do work? Are you feeling well? Did we forget to get your flu shots done?

Sadly, this is really what she wanted. I asked her if she wanted any toys…and she said no. But, I guess it’s ok for my little one to grow up to be a scientist…and not a procrastinating video game addict like me.

But, along with the man in red comes other happy things. Like food. And this is a holiday tradition for me:

Don’t worry that’s a “diet coke” in the background.

I eat one of these bad boys once a year…and it’s that time of the year. After driving around for hours looking for parking…and standing in lines…and watching adults melt down and get angry for nothing…I eat one of these to calm my nerves…and my stomach.

I know what you are thinking.

“Whoa..that looks really good. But, only once a year? Why? Why deny yourself this happiness? Aren’t we meant to be happy, Dan? Don’t you want to be happy?”

And I would say:

“Yes, once a year. And yes, I always want to be happy…but have you had one of these things before? After you eat one of them, they literally sit in your stomach for a year. I think my body is still digesting last year’s Cinnabon.”

But, seriously, I love this time of year. The Christmas songs…the smell of chimneys…the walking around at the malls to look at stuff that I will probably never buy. Have you ever been in a Brookstone store? I go in there all the time…and have never ever left with a Brookstone product in my hand. Besides, I have other things to spend money on, like more food.

I spend as much time at the mall as I can during this time of the year. Why? Yes, it can be annoying…and crowded. But, I think under all that stress…and outward anger that people may feel during this time…is a little kid, excited about christmas. Memories are made during this time of the year…like the one I had after I bought the Cinnabon I showed earlier.

I sat down to enjoy this miracle of Christmas and received a beep on my phone. My wife was calling me.

“Where are you? We are at McDonald’s….Bug wanted a Happy Meal.”

“On my way.”

I packed up my treasure and thought that McDonald’s fries would go great with this meal. I found my family and sat next to them. I finished my Cinnabon and started to clean up our area. I looked in my daughter’s McDonald’s bag and started to put my trash in it…but noticed something hiding in there…something near the bottom of the bag…one lone french fry. A poor french fry that somehow was left out of this meal. A french fry that was meant to be enjoyed by someone. To fulfill its destiny…who am I to deny this french fry its destiny? So, I grabbed it…and rejoiced outloud.

“WINNER WINNER…woohooo last fry! All mine!”

And ate it…I chewed it happily…but the happiness was short lived as I watched my wife laughing in front of me.

“…Eww…Gross.”

I was confused.

“What?”

“When we first sat down, Bug took her apple slices and fries out of the bag…and that particular fry fell down on the ground along with a couple of apple slices. That thing has been on the ground for a good half hour. I picked it up before you got here to clean up the floor. And you just ate it.”

I felt horror….and my mind started to wander.

I imagined how many people have walked into McDonald’s and sat in this very spot…who stepped on that very spot that that lone french fry laid on…where have those peoples’ shoes been? What if some worker had mopped that specific area…right after they mopped up a mess in the bathroom…and all the germs that stampeded onto that poor french fry. And now all those germs are all dancing in my stomach.

Yay, me.

Happy Holidays!